I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
