mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I could make wine with my vomit
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
