Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I wish you could order shots online.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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