I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Couch. On fire.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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