Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
