You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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