I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
