I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Just puked most of my soul out..
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
