there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
