can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
