ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
