all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Randomize
