The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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