So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Someone shattered a urinal.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize