Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
