also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize
