nut hugger
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
