Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
