So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
