every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Randomize
