elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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