Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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