Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
