I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
