You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
