Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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