Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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