ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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