two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
