Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
