i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
it's like iHOP with fire
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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