Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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