somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
