Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
