Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I can't put those talents on a resume
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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