His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
everyone is single if you try hard enough
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
