Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
