Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
