I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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