She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
