so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
