just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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