Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
