It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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