Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Everyone says I win the strip club
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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