i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
