Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
