So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
