So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
