I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I supernannyed him into submission
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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