I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
