just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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