I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
