I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize