do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You've changed since you got that strap on
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
