is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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