HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
