Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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