I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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