Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(254): View more from Texas

He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American

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(313): View more from Michigan

We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up

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(703): View more from Virginia

you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend

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(307): View more from Wyoming

eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived

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(352): View more from Florida

I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.

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