There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
