There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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