So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
