either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Randomize
