Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
