i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
