Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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