My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
