I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
