Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
