JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize