yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
