the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
